You Know You're a Horror Geek When...

While I was out at a craft store today, I had a revelation. I walked through the automatic doors, my eyes adjusting to the light, and my heart soared: it's HALLOWEEN TIME! It's really freakish how much I love this holiday. I joke that it's one of the few times a year that I feel normal, but in my line of study (Gothic Literature, gender in the horror film) it's rare for anyone to share your love of creepy stuff. Halloween is a validation for me, in a way. And makes me do a happy jig dance when the Halloween Express opens nearby (and yes, I have already been there).

I got this list from a Facebook Group I belong to of the same name. I dedicate it to all those people who celebrate Halloween every day and love it as much as I do. Enjoy!

P.S. Joann Fabrics has scrapbooking paper on sale! Sorry, I get excited about these things.

You Know You're a Horror Geek When...

• believe the gore the merrier
• have ever been mistaken for a Satanist.
• root for the mutant family in "The Hills Have Eyes."
• laugh during "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
• cry while watching "It's Alive."
• believe Rob Zombie is a great director.
• prefer slow, shambling zombies over the fast ones.
• hate CGI.
• refer to classic films as the original so people don't think you're talking about the remake.
• detest the rating "PG-13."
• have seen any of the movies Peter Jackson directed before "Lord of the Rings."
• hope that Steven Spielberg stops with the Oscar contenders and returns to stuff like "Jaws."
• die inside every time another remake is announced.
• can't get enough of "The Stuff."
• go out of your way to watch anything that might have Bruce Campbell in it.
• see any movie based on Stephen King even though you know it's going to suck.
• drooled when "Masters of Horror" was announced.
• argue that Tobe Hooper, not Steven Spielberg, directed "Poltergeist."
• have seen Christopher Lee in a drag.
• watch "From Dusk till Dawn" for Tom Savini instead of George Clooney.
• try to get people to admit that "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Seven" are horror flicks.
• randomly say "BRAINS!"
• get pissed when all channels play Christmas movies instead of scary movies on Halloween.
• believe that "Van Helsing" ruined the classic monsters.
• ever yelled for any reason at the screen "Just Kill that Bitch!"
• think baby Selwyn is cute.
• know that "28 Days Later" was not the first movie to have running zombies.
• want your enemies' heads to pop like in "Scanners."
• wanted Bill Moseley to get an Oscar nomination for playing Otis in "The Devil's Rejects."
• threaten to suck people's brains dry.
• can explain Chucky's (of the Rugrats) fear of the guy on the oatmeal box.
• know that Chucky's (the doll) real name is Charles Lee Ray.
• import dvd's from Japan.
• read Fangoria.
• hope the makers "Alien vs. Predator" burn in hell for ruining two of your favorite monsters in one movie.
• warn people about hardshell peppercorns.
• know all the slashers and their backstories.
• refer to shotguns as "boomsticks."
• ever wanted to cut off your hand and replace it with a chainsaw
• expand your horizons by watching a David Cronenberg movie.
• have read "The Zombie Survival Guide" and know what to do if the undead should rise.
• run out of the room if someone starts saying Candyman into the mirror.
• believe all the rich people in the world are really aliens that you can only see when you wear special sunglasses.
• can actually understand the plot of "Phantasm."
• know that "Prince of Darkness" beat out "The Davinci Code."
• warn real estate developers about building on Indian burial ground.
• wonder why George Romero couldn't have directed "Resident Evil" the movie.
• are aware that "Re-Animator" provided the world's first visual pun.
• are on the lookout for Dick Miller in a Joe Dante movie.
• know that Klopek is not a Slavic name.
• realize that a tire is not a good hiding spot from a graboid.
• pay to get in and pray to get out.
• will always remember Johnny Depp as the guy who was vomited up in a geyser of guts by Freddy Kruger.
• made nitrous oxide your drug of choice after watching "Blue Velvet."
• have either "The Dead Zone" or "Sleepy Hollow" as your favorite Cristopher Walken movie.
• still can't accept that James Cameron directed "Titanic."
• are aware "The Exorcist" has sequels and not just prequels.
• heard of "I am Legend" before it was a Will Smith movie.
• know what KNB stands for.
• have the right to remain silent... forever.
• must resist the urge to introduce yourself with "Name's Ash. Housewares."
• stick to explored caves because of "The Descent."
• appreciate life so as not to get kidnapped by Jigsaw.
• ever had people look at you funny when you tell them what your favorite movies are.
• debate bipedal versus four-legged werewolves.
• ever asked for a Nixon pardon.
• hope for a zombie apocalypse so you can use what you learned from "The Zombie Survival Guide."
• can explain all the rules of all the vampire movies you've ever seen.
• believe Bruce Campbell does Elvis better than Elvis.
• get angry when someone says they don't like scary movies, but they go see one when everyone's talking about it.
• fondly remember the Video Nasties.
• lecture people about why the infected from "28 Days Later" are not zombies.
• tell people it's lonely being a cannibal because it's tough making friends.
• know which line "Kill Bill" took from "Eaten Alive."
• would rather vampires go for the throat instead of the heart.
• believe "Drag Me to Hell" was Sam Raimi's apology for "Spider-Man 3."
• have dreams that play out like Dario Argento movies.
• can't take Jason Voorhees seriously because he was once killed by Corey Feldman.
• call stupid people Jordy Verrill.
• don't require any assistance understanding the above.